Post From the Past-Opinions Are Like…

I had lunch with a special friend the other day. She’s a new mom of a few months, and I could see myself in her. All the questions, the trial and errors, the good days, the bad days. Everything she said, I relived. This post is for her… and moms like her. 

Does this thing come with an instruction booklet? Nope, but opinionated backseat parents are in no short supply.

In the wee hours of the night a new-mom-for-the-first-time begins to panic. Feeding routines, sleep schedules, and the demands of a life dependent on her looks daunting through dark under eye circles after a slew of sleepless nights. Little does she know she has nothing to fear. Opinions are aplenty with the wisdom of the “village” eager to make her feel like a complete idiot push their child rearing ways. What’s better than an instruction manual than the two cents everyone and their grandmother will have about what she’s doing–or not doing–as a parent? Of course no one knows her child better than the stranger standing by in the aisle of the market ready to give words of wisdom.

Even if she’s doing a good job there’ll be plenty of others who deem it not good enough or the “right way” with plenty of advice to sort through and countless opportunities to screw it up… and always onlooking negative ninny’s to tell her so.

She need not fret. EVERY baby is different, and following a set of “rules” is counterproductive to raising an individual. No two parents will give the same advice for the same situation. Raising children is not a science. Nurturing is personal, and there is no one “right way.”

“my mom doesn’t want your advice”

I’m doing it my way; be it the right or wrong way by anyone else’s standards, but I don’t give a crap. I’m not “crunchy”, I don’t co-sleep, I cloth diaper–without a service–and my daughter went into her own nursery at three months sleeping through the night. She didn’t begin solids until six months which I prepare homemade for her, and I still breast feed–and plan to for the first year.

“It isn’t the common thing, and it may be dubbed a little more difficult, but we’re doing it the ‘right way’ for our child.”–a very wise man.

I understand everyone has an opinion, hell I have them ALL the time, but I don’t go spouting them when I see someone raising their child in a manner different from my own. I’m asking for the same keep-your-mouth-shut-and-mind-your-own-business courtesy.

When I chose to cloth diaper, I heard “Give it a few months and you’ll change your mind” from friends and family! Thanks for the vote of confidence. By the way, it’s almost eight months later and we’re still going strong, suck it. Choosing to make my own baby food, I constantly hear “Wait till the next one arrives.” Why would it be any different with two? Hello stupid uninformed individual, it’ll be easier with larger batches. Thanks again for the support. It wouldn’t be living if I weren’t drowning in negativity.

For me and the hubs the “right way” consists of what works for us and our family. It may not work for everyone, and that’s okay, but for us the results speak for themselves. Somehow, though, the peanut gallery can’t contain their comments, even when we DIDN’T ask.

Until recently I’ve been smiling, nodding–okay maybe with some eye rolling–taking it with a grain of salt, and going about my chosen lifestyle. I’m fed up. I’m tired of unsolicited advice. There is a great saying–I wish I’d thought of it–”opinions are like…” well, it’s basically a reference to your unpleasant nether regions and how they stink.

If I didn’t ask advice, I don’t care. AND, to those who say “Give it ____, and you’ll be over it” or “Wait till the next one comes” shove it up your a$% kindly take your opinions elsewhere. Where’s the love? Can I get a “Kudos to you for not taking the easy, well-traveled road”?

No one likes a naysayer, so jump off the negative train, or mind your own business.

Post From the Past-Opinions Are Like…

I had lunch with a special friend the other day. She’s a new mom of a few months, and I could see myself in her. All the questions, the trial and errors, the good days, the bad days. Everything she said, I relived. This post is for her… and moms like her. 

Does this thing come with an instruction booklet? Nope, but opinionated backseat parents are in no short supply.

In the wee hours of the night a new-mom-for-the-first-time begins to panic. Feeding routines, sleep schedules, and the demands of a life dependent on her looks daunting through dark under eye circles after a slew of sleepless nights. Little does she know she has nothing to fear. Opinions are aplenty with the wisdom of the “village” eager to make her feel like a complete idiot push their child rearing ways. What’s better than an instruction manual than the two cents everyone and their grandmother will have about what she’s doing–or not doing–as a parent? Of course no one knows her child better than the stranger standing by in the aisle of the market ready to give words of wisdom.

Even if she’s doing a good job there’ll be plenty of others who deem it not good enough or the “right way” with plenty of advice to sort through and countless opportunities to screw it up… and always onlooking negative ninny’s to tell her so.

She need not fret. EVERY baby is different, and following a set of “rules” is counterproductive to raising an individual. No two parents will give the same advice for the same situation. Raising children is not a science. Nurturing is personal, and there is no one “right way.”

“my mom doesn’t want your advice”

I’m doing it my way; be it the right or wrong way by anyone else’s standards, but I don’t give a crap. I’m not “crunchy”, I don’t co-sleep, I cloth diaper–without a service–and my daughter went into her own nursery at three months sleeping through the night. She didn’t begin solids until six months which I prepare homemade for her, and I still breast feed–and plan to for the first year.

“It isn’t the common thing, and it may be dubbed a little more difficult, but we’re doing it the ‘right way’ for our child.”–a very wise man.

I understand everyone has an opinion, hell I have them ALL the time, but I don’t go spouting them when I see someone raising their child in a manner different from my own. I’m asking for the same keep-your-mouth-shut-and-mind-your-own-business courtesy.

When I chose to cloth diaper, I heard “Give it a few months and you’ll change your mind” from friends and family! Thanks for the vote of confidence. By the way, it’s almost eight months later and we’re still going strong, suck it. Choosing to make my own baby food, I constantly hear “Wait till the next one arrives.” Why would it be any different with two? Hello stupid uninformed individual, it’ll be easier with larger batches. Thanks again for the support. It wouldn’t be living if I weren’t drowning in negativity.

For me and the hubs the “right way” consists of what works for us and our family. It may not work for everyone, and that’s okay, but for us the results speak for themselves. Somehow, though, the peanut gallery can’t contain their comments, even when we DIDN’T ask.

Until recently I’ve been smiling, nodding–okay maybe with some eye rolling–taking it with a grain of salt, and going about my chosen lifestyle. I’m fed up. I’m tired of unsolicited advice. There is a great saying–I wish I’d thought of it–”opinions are like…” well, it’s basically a reference to your unpleasant nether regions and how they stink.

If I didn’t ask advice, I don’t care. AND, to those who say “Give it ____, and you’ll be over it” or “Wait till the next one comes” shove it up your a$% kindly take your opinions elsewhere. Where’s the love? Can I get a “Kudos to you for not taking the easy, well-traveled road”?

No one likes a naysayer, so jump off the negative train, or mind your own business.

Another Word About Breast Feeding…

Because obviously I have to beat a dead horse. 


As I sat in my living room this morning having just nursed my ten month old, my blood boiled over IGNORANT comments I’d just read on an article about a Georgia woman being asked to leave church – yes church – for breast feeding her child; comments that compared breast feeding to things like urinating or having sex in public. 


I was surprised that there were no shortage of people feeling this way, or they were just the one’s speaking up.

So, I’m speaking up. I’m speaking up as a mother who breast feeds. I’m speaking up for babies that feed naturally at the breast. I’m speaking up to address the stigma that ignorance has created.


In recent months, this issue has popped up all over the internet as controversial, and I’ve addressed it before. I continue to be outraged, and flabbergasted, that it is such a hot-button issue. 


I’ll say it again, because apparently it is not stressed enough: Breast feeding is a natural way to FEED a child, period. 

I can attest that NO mother breast feeding her child does it for ANYTHING other than to feed her baby. I think a wake up call is in order, as there are other issues for panties to be getting bunched up over. There are bigger fish to fry in this world.

I also feel the need to say a word about being discreet as that seems to be a subset of the breast feeding controversy: Not all babies want to eat under a blanket, there isn’t always a private place, and babies don’t always pick convenient times to be hungry. I’d like to see the opponents of public breast feeding try eating under a sheet, or in a bathroom. DISGUSTING. 


Next time you see a woman breast feeding, think about how uncomfortable she may be, or may have been and had to struggle to become comfortable for her child’s sake. 


A new mom, in the beginning, I cringed at the thought of nursing in public. I was so nervous I hurried about my errands trying to make it back home in time for feeding. Let me tell you how difficult that is with a newborn with a voracious appetite. Often times, I sat in the car before heading into the market nursing a hungry baby. I pulled over on the side of the road to feed her. Guess what? Life waits for no one, and does go on, as it should, so I got over my discomfort – because I had shit to do and couldn’t hide forever – and started thinking about my child’s well-being. 


If you’ve been there, give another breast feeding mom a nod of approval. If you’re a Negative Nelly, walk on and mind your own business.