A Sign of the Times?

Invited to a party, but you don’t know the location? A new trend? How would you feel about that?

With A’s second birthday upon us – I can’t believe it! – I’m in planning mode.

I like attending parties; probably more than most, but I love hosting parties a little more than I like attending them – is that weird? – but my biggest pet peeve? People who don’t respond. 

What is it about RSVP these days? Is it an ancient art form? 

Could it be no one wants to commit until the very last minute, and responding early on doesn’t coincide with that mentality?

I mean, stuff happens. We all understand that things come up that are unavoidable, people get sick, but not responding at all? And then showing up – and the host hasn’t prepared for you – or worst yet, not showing up and the host has way over prepared.

I’ve hosted a lot of parties and it seems the latter is true. I’ve even attended parties where the host/hostess was hard pressed, but wanted to celebrate something important, went way out of budget expecting a lot of people, and sadly, hardly anyone showed. 

But what’s the alternative to RSVP? My mother-in-law hosted our sex party and asked for regrets only. That didn’t go over so well either. I mean, if it’s like pulling teeth to get people to respond with a yes, who wants to call with a “NO”?

Recently, twitter was abuzz (by another blogger I follow) with conversation of women who were contemplating not disclosing the location of the party until receiving that RSVP phone call; avoiding the last minute stop-in.

It made me think.

For me, since I host most everything at home, keeping the location secret just isn’t feasible. What about hosting birthdays at a park, pizza parlor, indoor jump arena, etc…? 


I wondered how the lack of RSVPing could lead to such extremes. But really, if you haven’t prepared for last minute guests someone’s going to get the short end of the stick. It’s not really fair for someone to get to eat that wasn’t expected to be there in the first place, while a considerate RSVPer misses out. 


What do you think, is it tacky not to disclose the location beforehand? Or is this just a sign of the times?

Denim, Stripes and Orange and White Polka Dots, Oh My! {Fashion}

Yes! A new backdrop for fashion photos {the den makeover project that I’ve yet to showcase on the blog because I finish projects like 90% *sigh* and I’m still waiting on a chair (that’s one from my dining room) and just the right accent pillows}. 

Anyhow, back to the fashion. Almost all the pieces here are from the back of my closet. I added the scarf I’d purchased last fall – as I sought out spring pieces for this year – to give a pop of color. This 3/4 sleeve tee is a go-to piece when I just want something comfy to wear. I usually wear a ballet flat with something like this, but I’ve been falling in love all over again with these nude pumps. And what a fun way to add a little va va voom… but not too much!

OUTFIT DEETS

t-shirt: Loft a few years ago (similar), jeans: Old Navy, heels: I think it was DSW a few years back, scarf: groop dealz, 

kid: fashionista in the making (she chose her entire outfit, including my peep toe bootie! I should mention she wears that dress almost daily.)

Denim, Stripes and Orange and White Polka Dots, Oh My! {Fashion}

Yes! A new backdrop for fashion photos {the den makeover project that I’ve yet to showcase on the blog because I finish projects like 90% *sigh* and I’m still waiting on a chair (that’s one from my dining room) and just the right accent pillows}. 

Anyhow, back to the fashion. Almost all the pieces here are from the back of my closet. I added the scarf I’d purchased last fall – as I sought out spring pieces for this year – to give a pop of color. This 3/4 sleeve tee is a go-to piece when I just want something comfy to wear. I usually wear a ballet flat with something like this, but I’ve been falling in love all over again with these nude pumps. And what a fun way to add a little va va voom… but not too much!

OUTFIT DEETS

t-shirt: Loft a few years ago (similar), jeans: Old Navy, heels: I think it was DSW a few years back, scarf: groop dealz, 

kid: fashionista in the making (she chose her entire outfit, including my peep toe bootie! I should mention she wears that dress almost daily.)

Potty Training Update

To keep with the crazy, weird theme of the week, aka my big “failure,” the past two days have been interesting.

Like Pavlov’s dog, Friday I’d been feeling I’d rung a bell that couldn’t be un-rung. A kept telling me all morning, while playing outside, she had to go pee and would run in the house towards the potty (she was wearing a diaper so this was totally unnecessary), but then turn around on her heels and change her mind. Talk about a mind blower. I totally screwed up and confused my sweet girl. Insert giant sad face as I inwardly scolded myself.

To add insult to injury, after a nap, A refused to put a fresh diaper on asking for big girl panties. We’d decided to put the past four days behind us and not call attention to any of it, sooooooo I casually said it meant she had to go in the potty and she resounded loudly “NO”. I tried again with the diaper and the same conversation ensued. I settled on pull ups and passed them off as “big girl panties” to which she was very happy. At this point, I was happy she was happy and figured if she goes on the potty wonderful, but if not, who cares?

To burn off the sting of feeling like I’d let A down and traumatized her for a lifetime, I went for a five mile training run while the hubs entertained. While I was running off my blues, A, in her pull up “big girl panties,” asked to pee in the potty, and did! She has since peed in the potty a handful of times on her own volition. She’s been in “big girl panties” since (except at night… it’s all diaper and all sleep from 8 to 8, thank gawd!)

Saturday afternoon we headed to Oak Glen for lunch and an excursion and sure enough she said “Go pee.” Ah! This would be our first public restroom experience. As casually as I could, without making a big deal, I scooped her up and headed to the restroom. She managed to hold it all the way there, wait for me to line the seat with the ass gaskets, pull her panties down, and then as I hovered her over the toilet, she PEED! We did this twice in the couple hours we were there.

Though I stand by my original decision that the three day rush tactic to potty train will never again happen in my home, I’m glad to say that I haven’t totally ruined my kid’s spirit and mind. And potty training may just go smoothly from here on out. I can’t tell you how relieved I am after this stressful event in which I beat myself up. Looks like we’re going to be okay after all. Phew.

My Epic Fail (The Three Day Potty Training Method)

This is probably the most difficult post I’ve had to write. It’s about my epic fail, or more accurately my devastated heart for the biggest mistake I feel I’ve made in my parenting thus far. I think what makes it even more hauntingly sad is the harsh reality that it’s most likely not going to be the only mistake I make in this journey called parenting. 
……………
Tears streamed my face as I tried to sleep around midnight preparing for the Big day the next morning.

Everything was in order. But something deep inside (that little voice I’d learn to ignore for the next three days) was causing a knot the size of a golf ball that began in my stomach and worked it’s way to my throat. All these questions plagued my ultimately wrong decision; a decision I had no idea the ramifications. 

I’d washed my last batch of diapers, washed the big girl panties that would replace those diapers, and reorganized her dresser drawers so that those big girl panties would be at her fingertips. The changing table was deconstructed and rearranged with big girl items making her baby changing space a dresser fit for a big girl. All my blog posts were aligned for the week and on auto post, facebook and twitter would be set aside, and my phone was tucked away until bedtime.

As I wrote the outline for this post a week ago, I was going to entitle it something along the lines of Adventures in Potty Training. I assumed it wasn’t going to be easy, but I couldn’t have known just how vicious this simple act of growing up could be. In a nutshell, we had some major triumphs, even smooth-sailing early on, but then a power struggle perhaps? Finally, a road to success it seemed, and ultimately? What felt like a spirit damaged. 

This is the tale of my major mom fail: the three day potty training method. It was an up and down roller coaster ride of a train wreck.

……………

Contrary to my “autopilot” post Sunday, we didn’t actually begin potty training until Monday. Long story short, we just weren’t prepared to begin Sunday, but here’s the long drawn out version when we finally did:

Monday: 

The hubs – sick – helped out tremendously and our entire day and beings centered around the Bug. A zillion accidents occurred, but she lilted along with me “Hurry, hurry, to the potty” as I rushed her with every one. We even made it on a few occasions! We were diligent to follow the three day potty training method to a T. Night fell, and again (against my better judgement) we followed the training methodically and kept her in panties. All was fine and dandy; her regular routine, going down like nothing, until… she told us too late about needing to get up and had a little accident. Fortunately, only her panties soiled, but her ego? Bruised. And her spirit? Lifeless. Against all my rules, she was in bed with us, but no accidents.

Tuesday: (DAY 2) 

We were on a roll with fewer accidents and she really seemed to be “getting” it. By that afternoon, she even made it to do both potty’s in her toilet! Who knew you could be so proud of poop. Night time didn’t go so well, again. This time she peed in her booster seat at the table and was then defiant about eating. We offered what we could, but sitting at the table was unsuccessful. Bath time was as usual and bed time was easy like normal. However, it was around 1130 or midnight when she woke, and this time the sheets were casualties. That night or morning, the hubs slept on the floor with her when she refused to go back to bed.

Wednesday: (Day 3… what’s supposed to be the final day)

It seemed as though the accidents equaled successes, but nonetheless we were happy with her progress and the fact that she was telling us she needed to go and making an effort to get there, with our help. Nap time didn’t go so well and we assumed she was having confinement issues in her crib, and was scared from previous attempts to go while stuck in there. While letting her “nap” (play) in our bed for an hour or so we talked seriously about turning her crib into a toddler bed. I used the “mentor” program provided by this method and due to a family emergency with the author was alerted that a response would take time. I’m still waiting and this would technically be day 5. Armed with what little the book had to offer about this type of situation, and what we felt might help our girl, we went ahead with operation toddler bed. She even practiced laying there and getting up to go to the potty, with success! Then, things changed; drastically. 

She launched a rebellion. There was accident upon accident as she outright refused to sit on the potty and went in her pants. The rebellion went on for the remainder of the evening. 

We put her to bed with no problems (even with the new freedom she’d been afforded in her new bed!) With the Queen of Potty Training’s night time solutions, we woke her before we went to bed to put her on the potty and… nothing. Around 330 a.m. I heard her stirring so I went in to put her on the potty, and still nothing. This time, however, she wouldn’t go back to sleep. After several hours of the hubs trying, she wound up back in our bed. 

Thursday: 

A and I were on our own with our three days down and no where to go but up. Right? Yeah, that’s what I thought, but the morning was accident ridden with pure defiance. Until… she raced to her potty on her own with me in tow to help and had both successful potty’s there! At nap time she went down (and went to sleep) in her big girl bed. It looked like things were turning around. 

I gave more freedoms, not nipping at her heels every moment, and we sailed through the afternoon. 

Dinner time was now a battle with refusal to sit in her chair. She resorted to wanting to sit on one of our laps. (Insert giant eye roll). I’m not a fan of coddling for these types of things, but reluctantly I agreed for the mere fact that she needed to eat. At this point, I still hadn’t heard from the damn Queen of this amazing method to potty train (insert sarcastic bitchy tone) and had had it. 

During bath time, the hubs went to get pull ups with the hope that our fabulous sleeper would return. But by this time, I think we’d already royally screwed up. Bed time was difficult. Putting our once amazing sleeper in bed was like pulling teeth. After a few stories, back rubs, and kisses, she was down. And I’m sure you can guess what came next… basically she woke up around 1230 saying she needed to pee, but refused the potty (she was in a pull up so we weren’t too concerned) and we were able to get her back to sleep after a bit of a struggle. She woke a second time and after screams and struggles we had a repeat of Tuesday night. God bless the hubs.

Friday: (Day Give Up)

Last night, after we finally got A back to sleep the first time, we decided that we’d be going back to life as we knew it (and hoped that we could erase what was done). Our once happy-go-lucky, “perfect” child was a monster. She rarely smiled the past four days, was tantrum-ridden, and sought attention by acting out. Clearly, in our minds, her psyche just wasn’t ready for this step. I don’t care what the Queen of Potty Training says, not every child is ready to be potty trained at 22 months. I’ve proven that. Or, maybe they are, but for me a child that goes on the potty under 2 years of age but loses her sparkle and zest for life isn’t worth anything.

With a heavy heart that I’ve royally screwed up my kid and possibly set her up for a future in therapy, I have to live with my epic fail. But, I can see the spark returning to my little Lovebug. Her spirit lilts over the little things today. She’s not seeking out attention through tantrums, and she looks happy; something I felt like we’d lost those three days.

I wish I could turn back the clock. I can’t. All I can do now is not call attention to it and hope that we can put it behind us. I will never use this method again. 

I’m not sure why I thought this would be such a great idea in the beginning. Maybe the suggestions from others? Because, honestly, the thought of putting my entire life on hold, spending three days in the confinement of our house, putting our routine at odds with the method just seemed too good to be true. (I should have listened to that little voice). It was too good to be true, and my daughter’s spirit was suffering for it. 

I don’t have an answer to the right way to go about potty training. I don’t know that it won’t ever be a struggle, but I do know that even though this method touts love and patience (and I did feel like we weren’t too intrusive) nothing with lasting effects can be done in such short amounts of time. She did “get” it, but it takes more than three days to feel confident and comfortable. Next time will certainly be a slower approach, and I think that instead of going straight to panties I’ll be using pull ups, offering her the option to use the potty without forcing it as the only choice.

 Sigh.

Crocheted Lace + Nude Heels {Fashion}

About three weeks ago now – time flies fast! – I had an afternoon alone to attend a good friend’s graduation from a Masters program, and even dine with her afterwards. Yay alone time!

That evening, the hubs and I went to a birthday party at a country bar, so I wanted an outfit that would carry me from a formal graduation to beer drinking.

I raided my closet and found the lace crocheted piece I’d purchased about a month earlier and had yet to wear. Settling on comfy skinnies, I added a nude pump that was classic enough for a special occasion, but understated for a bar.

The Look
lace tunic: H&M, skinnies: Target, nude pump: ??? (similar)

Crocheted Lace + Nude Heels {Fashion}

About three weeks ago now – time flies fast! – I had an afternoon alone to attend a good friend’s graduation from a Masters program, and even dine with her afterwards. Yay alone time!

That evening, the hubs and I went to a birthday party at a country bar, so I wanted an outfit that would carry me from a formal graduation to beer drinking.

I raided my closet and found the lace crocheted piece I’d purchased about a month earlier and had yet to wear. Settling on comfy skinnies, I added a nude pump that was classic enough for a special occasion, but understated for a bar.

The Look
lace tunic: H&M, skinnies: Target, nude pump: ??? (similar)

And So It Begins…

While you’re reading this, I’ve given up my entire life.

My blog has been on autopilot since Sunday. Facebook, twitter, and Instagram forgotten.

Cell phone? Tucked away so as not to temp me with all its fabulousness.

The computer has been switched off.

The television? Apple t.v. sleeps. Not a single Netflix plays.

The message machine on our home phone takes all calls.

My entire life as I know it? Given up.


Until bedtime, of course.

This isn’t my choice.

Well, actually it is. For a brief moment in time. During A’s waking hours. I’m on higher alert than usual while she sleeps at night, too. 

What am I doing? Why would I give all this up? For the reward.

And so it begins.

The reward is supposed to be a fully potty trained child after three days of due diligence.

So, my entire life? For three days I’ll be dedicated to keeping my eyes and mind on A, so I can catch any opportunity to take her to the potty and limit (or hopefully avoid) accidents.

I’m taking the route of the proclaimed Potty Training Queen. Three days. During those three days, A and I will be attached at the hip. She’ll be in big girl undies, by my side every waking moment and in earshot during naps, checking for wetness, encouraged to tell me when she needs to go potty, being rewarded for dryness, reminded to tell me when she needs to go potty, rewarded for any potty that makes it in the toilet, reminded to tell me when she needs to go potty, by my side constantly… 

At the end of those three days? I will hopefully have done my due diligence and will have a potty trained individual.

So, as you read this, it has begun. I will have done my last load of diapers, given up my entire life (for three days), and will be attending to my daughter every moment.

Wish me luck!

Valentine’s Day

It was a busy day filled with love… and exhaustion, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And holidays with a kid? Amazing. 

After a 6 a.m. alarm reminder, I shook off the covers and raced through the day.

I was able to get in a nice 5k and a bit of coffee before the Bug woke. We shared a family breakfast and A opened her Valentine’s gift, then it was a quick shower and we were in the car for a 40 mile trek.  We headed to my grandmother’s assisted living facility for a morning Valentine’s party.

Beaming with pride that A opted only for 1/4 of a sugary Valentine cookie, we avoided the sweets and spent some quality time as four generations of women – my grandmother, my mom and her sister, myself, and of course, A. After a nice visit, it was back in the car for the 30 mile drive back towards the hubs’ office to meet him and a bunch of the office staff (friends) for lunch. I totally blew my clean eating with two chicken tacos, but they were fantastic!

After a quick Target tantrum trip (more on that later), we finally made it home for a much needed nap.

I made a quick change to rev up my outfit for the hubs and our night in…

…and cheated again with a glass of wine. 

It was one of the best Valentine’s days to date!

Hope y’all had a day (and an entire year) of loving your friends and family.

Valentine’s Day

It was a busy day filled with love… and exhaustion, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And holidays with a kid? Amazing. 

After a 6 a.m. alarm reminder, I shook off the covers and raced through the day.

I was able to get in a nice 5k and a bit of coffee before the Bug woke. We shared a family breakfast and A opened her Valentine’s gift, then it was a quick shower and we were in the car for a 40 mile trek.  We headed to my grandmother’s assisted living facility for a morning Valentine’s party.

Beaming with pride that A opted only for 1/4 of a sugary Valentine cookie, we avoided the sweets and spent some quality time as four generations of women – my grandmother, my mom and her sister, myself, and of course, A. After a nice visit, it was back in the car for the 30 mile drive back towards the hubs’ office to meet him and a bunch of the office staff (friends) for lunch. I totally blew my clean eating with two chicken tacos, but they were fantastic!

After a quick Target tantrum trip (more on that later), we finally made it home for a much needed nap.

I made a quick change to rev up my outfit for the hubs and our night in…

…and cheated again with a glass of wine. 

It was one of the best Valentine’s days to date!

Hope y’all had a day (and an entire year) of loving your friends and family.